“I have some bad news. Paul died last night” he said.
Paul was the founder of an early stage entertainment technology company. The call just started. I was supposed to share the final business plan: 5-year financial forecasts, profitability, cash flows, organizational structure and technical strategy I’d been working on.
The business was growing organically. We wanted to put on the afterburners. Investors were interested and this call was to approve the plan so we could build a deck* for them and raise $XMillion.**
But now the founder was dead.
We had been working closely for 3 months. It was Tuesday morning, September 24th 2013 and time stood still.
I was in Baltimore, Maryland wearing a blue v-neck cotton t-shirt. I was sitting outside in the sun and remember sweat trickling down my back. I noticed the tree leaves holding onto their late summer green, lingering before changing into fall colors. I heard birds chirping and felt a slight warm breeze.
He began telling me what happened.
You know how it feels when the world stops?
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. -Victor Frankl”
We see the fleeting nature of things. Life in Technicolor. Heightened for a second as we ponder the meaning and grasp the transient nature of life.
Like the last day of your vacation – soaking it in before departing to home.
Like the end of Christmas day when you’re a kid – the presents are open, everyone is sitting around feeling the chemical buildup dissipate as you realize it’s over.
I snapped back to his words on the other end of the line.
“…and then the housekeeper found him.”
Memories of Paul flashed through my head. His wide eyes excited about the possibilities and his passion for his mission in life. A friend gone at 66.
You knew Paul Darbee. At least, you knew his work:
Paul invented the Universal Remote Control in the 1980s, among other things. He cashed out of his company early. UEIC went through tough times and is today a $500M annual business traded as a public company.
His new company, DarbeeVision was his biggest dream. A company dedicated to making the picture on your tv or projector better using image processing via an HDMI-input device sitting between your incoming signal and your tv. It works really well. I thought I could help them put together strategy and get big fast.
But now he was gone leaving his business partner and I alone on the telephone talking about what to do next.
“Can you get to Denver by tomorrow?”
I flew to Denver. CEDIA is the show where all the home AV professionals demo their gadgets and distributors do deals for the next year. All the new hot stuff for your home.
I pressed flesh with the contacts I’d gained over 6 years at RealD and presented the plan to the majority shareholders and their advisors. Everyone was on board with the strategy and I think they were looking for a sense of hope. And a sense of security that the legacy would not die.
It felt like a memorial service: Paul’s last name in graphic design across the banners in the booth. His widow and son bravely repeating the story of the company, the technology and Paul’s last days. Industry veterans stopping by to express condolences.
DarbeeVision is alive today and will likely keep going.
It can be sad to say goodbye.
It was a little over a year ago (1 year 5 days) that I said goodbye to RealD, went to Beirut for a celebration, moved out of my apartment in Boulder, proposed to someone I loved and had it fail, dated someone but it didn’t work out, drove 700 miles across the midwest to a magical weekend celebration, sold my first home in Portland, Oregon, put my stuff in storage, mourned Paul’s death, took a 9 day trail running trip to Maui, celebrated another birthday, and another Thanksgiving and another Christmas, welcomed a new niece into the world, got UL approval on a product, sold all my old stock options, and last week closed the first big deal of my new company then got hit with new hurdles. Among many other things.
Thankfully every day dies. Some days die quickly. Other days die a slow painful death, impossibly hard to let go of.
But then a new day is born.
People say let go of the past, but the truth is you must let go of the future, because the past happened and is gone. The only thing left of the past is evidence we interpret and emotions we carry. This impacts our thoughts, beliefs and shapes our future by influencing our reality.
When I let go of the future my life becomes magic and time stands still.
Things I never thought would happen become reality.
I was always scared to let go, because what then would I have left? And I only have one conclusion: faith. Faith that if I am healthy and I let go something new will show up to replace the space that’s made from what is gone. And it always happens.
Otherwise we keep missing the moment when all possibilities are endless. And when we miss that moment, we miss all possibilities.
Paul was someone who chose to make his own possibilities and inspired others.
But are you dead or are you alive? Are you missing each moment holding onto the past or are you healthy in your body, heart, mind and soul, with room for your dreams to become real?
I don’t know what works for you, but this is what works for me. I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned from friends both living and passed who continue to be proof that we are what we believe.
And faith that something is on its way is the only way I know of.
I hope you have faith, too.
*a deck is the presentation you give to potential investors
**I’m still under nondisclosure